OakleyLife

Well, here it is. I went to the Emergency Room today and "am in the process" of having a miscarriage. This is completely disturbing to me, and for some reason I thought that I was immune to this. I am not. I know, that I was not far along, and I am thankful that I never heard the baby's heart, or saw her picture. It doesn't make it easier. It is heartbreaking to me. I know it is for Brandon as well. I just have to believe that our baby was not formed, and that something was terribly wrong with her. I must believe that it is easier to know now and early. The doctor says that we will be able to have a healthy pregnancy, and baby. Still, it is not easier. I hate that every time I use the restroom I have to be reminded of what has happened to my body. It is impossible to not second guess every single thing that I have done the last month. I know that this happens, and logically, I understand that I did not cause it. Still, I ask myself if maybe riding a roller coaster before I knew was the cause or could telling everyone so early have caused it? Like I said, logically, I know it was not the cause, but those thoughts still make their way into my head. We will be OK. I am so lucky and happy to have such support and such caring people around. I thank you for that.